How do you get rid of self-denial?
Shine Another Light on Yourself
Perhaps there are quite a few of you who grew up without being complimented by your parents? That's because it's easier for others to focus on our shortcomings, flaws or problematic behaviors than on our strengths. Some parents come to me for counseling about their children, and when they talk about their children's shortcomings, they go on and on, but when I ask them about their children's strengths, they come to a screeching halt and are speechless. With such parents, children learn to list their faults and find it hard to remember what is good about them. Even without parental influence, popular opinion does not support the act of speaking one's strengths in front of others.
Once upon a time, my friend said, "I'm smart and articulate." Hearing his words, I was amazed. How can we be so calm in showing our strengths? Even if someone accuses you of something, just feel good about yourself; even if someone thinks you shouldn't highlight your strengths, you don't need to take it to heart. We are kind, not gloomy. We are not without constancy, but we act decisively. Open a book and read it, and if you feel that it is not useful to you now, then don't read it; failing to do this, you waste time. Therefore, even if people around you say that you are shallow and half-hearted, you believe that you are just thunderous. In addition, people who think they are timid are actually prudent, and people who think they are inattentive are actually active thinkers, which means that we can see ourselves in a different light.
When I was in high school, my mother was worried that I didn't have many friends, so she went to talk to my homeroom teacher about it, who said, "Friends aren't a necessity in his opinion." This was quite reassuring to my mother. I was also surprised to learn from her that there was nothing wrong with what I thought. The homeroom teacher shone another light on my lack of friends.
I was once frustrated with my short stature, and when I went to a friend to talk about it, he laughed at me. If my friend had said something like, "It's not easy for you," I would have gone on to tell him how much trouble I had been through because of my height. However, my friend's response was different, and I thought for a moment that he didn't understand me, but when I thought about it, appearances don't diminish our value as human beings in any way. So I realized that by focusing too much on my height, I was always avoiding interactions with others.
My friend gently shut me down, but at the same time he told me "you make people feel relaxed". Of course, this was only in terms of appearance, but I did feel that I rarely made people feel overwhelmed. His words made me realize that I wasn't useless, and even more amazingly, after I learned to look at myself differently, my height worries gradually disappeared from my mind.
As mentioned above, people deny themselves in order to avoid positive relationships with others. We can only be courageous in our relationships if we shine another light on ourselves and understand the value of our own existence.
So, my friend, you are perfectly capable of enhancing your heart flow through a set of modalities based on Eastern philosophy, aesthetics, and feng shui:
- Wear jewelry that contains the following materials:
- Amber
- Enamel
- Labradorite
- Use the following Chinese Feng Shui patterns:
- Stripe
- Parrot-shaped motif
- Forsythia
- Choose this group of traditional oriental colors:
- Cochineal
- Ten Brocade
- Nankeen
These motifs and colors are rich in strong protective power and can enhance the energy of the jewelry, creating a heart flow for you.