Why is "empathy" the core ability that can change your life?
Empathy and Sympathy: The Power of Understanding and Action
In today's society, there is a significant difference between empathy and sympathy. Compared to empathy, we tend to regard sympathy as a phenomenon with lower emotional intensity. You may feel uncomfortable about someone else's suffering, but not strongly enough to affect your emotions. When you hear that a familiar person's teacher has passed away, you may send a card out of politeness to show sympathy, but that doesn't mean you truly feel their pain. If a close friend loses someone dear to them, your emotions and actions are more likely to cross into the realm of empathy. The richer your life experiences, the deeper your awareness of common human emotions, and the higher your ability to empathize with all of humanity, not just those close to you.
Artist Patricia Simon provides a great example to illustrate the difference between empathy and sympathy. In 2010, she and her family went on vacation to Syria, a decision that now seems quite adventurous.
"We fell in love with this beautiful country and its colorful exotic culture, especially the local people," she recalled. But less than a year after returning home, Syria's political situation began to deteriorate. Soon, images of bombed-out abandoned villages and historic towns, places she had once visited, began appearing on Patricia's television and computer. She became very concerned about the Syrian people and, together with her husband Dick, registered a non-governmental organization called the Karam Foundation, which sends Americans to the Turkey-Syria border to provide educational services for refugee children.
When I asked Patricia—friends call her Patty—what drove her to venture into a dangerous war zone, risking her life to help people she didn't know, her answer revealed the different types of empathy we experience as humans.
"I moved every few years while growing up," she said. "I was always the new kid in the neighborhood, an outsider, and I became very sensitive to marginalized and invisible people. Their experiences go far beyond this, but I can understand them. I've met Syrians, I've been there, so I feel like I'm with them."
Empathy requires more imagination and insight than sympathy. Patty and her family understand this deeply, having experienced displacement like the Syrians, so she knows how they feel. When you feel sympathy, you can imagine someone else's pain by putting yourself in their shoes. You can also imagine what they are thinking, what motivates them, and what their aspirations are. Most people might feel sympathy for the plight of Syrian refugees, but those like the Simons, who have witnessed the destruction of their homeland, may empathize more deeply with the war, loss of loved ones, and homes that Syrian refugees have experienced.
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